Marriage is a place where forgiveness is shines! That shouldn’t seem like such an odd statement, but it is, isn’t it? Why is marriage sometimes the last place forgiveness is given? Have you ever been angry with your spouse because of something they did or did not do? Well yes, who hasn’t? But maybe a better question is: Have you refused to let go of the anger and forgive your spouse no matter what he or she has done? Often we tend to believe the lie that if we are angry enough; long enough our spouse will come to their senses and earn their right back into our graces. The problem is we are seeking to forgive conditionally, saying “I will forgive you if…” The problem is this forgiveness is based on your spouse acting as you think. You cannot expect someone else to think and act like you do even if that someone is your spouse! Many times their action never takes place, so we hold on to our un-forgiveness which brings anger that eventually turns into bitterness.
We also believe that our refusing to forgive is imprisoning our spouse. This is the furthest thing from the truth. Michele Weiner-Davis, says in her (internet) article on “Forgiveness in Marriage,” “Lack of forgiveness imprisons you. It takes its toll on your physical and emotional health. It keeps you stuck in the deepest of relationship ruts. No matter how justified you feel about your point of view regarding your partner's insensitive behavior, you still are miserable. When you wake up each morning, a gray tint shadows your life. You walk around with a low-grade depression. You can't feel joy because you're too busy being angry or feeling disappointed.” Some can relate all to well to the description of misery can’t you? So what are you going to do about it?
In his book Getting rid of the Gorilla, Brian Jones defines forgiveness as ‘release’. When we ‘release’ our spouse we really release ourselves from the prison that we actually built. We build prisons when we don’t forgive and our homes become a place where our spouse (and children) doesn’t want to be. Don’t you want to be free? Don’t you want to be released from the prison you find yourself in? Step up and forgive today. Call your spouse right now and let them know you are sorry for being un-forgiving! If you are interested in the greatest forgiveness ever, why not visit us on Sunday morning?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Marriage Moment #2 - Choices
There are so many choices in life. Do you realize how many choices you make in one day alone? I get to choose my cell phone plan. I get to choose which cell phone is “best for me.” I get to choose what I eat for each meal. I get to choose if I want to eat that meal at home or at a restaurant. I get to choose what I wear (whether it matches or not!) I choose whether or not I want to put a purchase on my credit card or wait until I have the money to buy it ‘the old-fashioned-way.’ I choose what time I get up in the morning. I choose what kind of coffee I want to drink or not drink. I choose if I want to go to work. I choose what I want to do for a living. I choose to be in a good mood or not each day I wake up. I choose how I will treat my kids when I see them first thing in the morning. I choose who I want to marry. And I choose if I want to stay married or not!
Marriage is a constant choice! I wake up each and every day and choose to love my wife (after all she has put up with me for all these years.) But what if I decided not to love her for part of the day, would that make a difference? You bet it would. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose not look online at inappropriate pictures. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose not to entertain impure thoughts. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose to look away when things get flashed across the T.V. screen during half-time of the football game. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose to battle the world around me. Today, I choose to love my wife – I choose go to battle! What about you? Are you ready to choose? Are you ready to battle? Marriage is at war – I am ready!
As long as we are talking about choosing, how about choosing which church to attend? How about choosing Jesus as the ultimate choice? Why not come and see what God is doing at FCC and ‘choose’ whether or not you agree with who we are and how we live? It might just be the RIGHT CHOICE to bless you marriage! God has made the ultimate choice – and HE chooses you! Why not check HIM out?
Marriage is a constant choice! I wake up each and every day and choose to love my wife (after all she has put up with me for all these years.) But what if I decided not to love her for part of the day, would that make a difference? You bet it would. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose not look online at inappropriate pictures. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose not to entertain impure thoughts. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose to look away when things get flashed across the T.V. screen during half-time of the football game. When I choose to love my wife each day, I choose to battle the world around me. Today, I choose to love my wife – I choose go to battle! What about you? Are you ready to choose? Are you ready to battle? Marriage is at war – I am ready!
As long as we are talking about choosing, how about choosing which church to attend? How about choosing Jesus as the ultimate choice? Why not come and see what God is doing at FCC and ‘choose’ whether or not you agree with who we are and how we live? It might just be the RIGHT CHOICE to bless you marriage! God has made the ultimate choice – and HE chooses you! Why not check HIM out?
Marriage Moment #1
Have you ever noticed that many people have marital problems? Is yours one? No matter what difficulties you might be facing in your marriage, you can still have success with your mate! But it does take an incredible amount determination and sweat to be not just a surviving marriage but a thriving marriage. When every one else is fighting and threatening the “D” word (divorce) you and your spouse can enjoy a marriage that lasts the rest of your lives. Want to know how to have this type of marriage?
It all starts with good communication! It seems so elementary, so why not give it a try? Good communication is the key in 90% of happily married couples (National Survey on Marital Strengths by David H. Olson & Amy K. Olson-Sigg (2000).) When you experience times in your marriage where things don’t seem to be connecting with your spouse there is a communication break-down. The simply steps are to 1.) sit down (after cooling down.) 2.) state your thoughts and feelings in a condense version. 3.) have your spouse repeat back to you EXACTLY what you said. If your spouse can do this without summarizing what they “know you really mean when you say _________” then you are on your way to healthy communication. If your spouse cannot accurately summarize what you said and meant then the communication problem has surfaced its ugly head! You might need to bring in a third party to help mediate through the steps to get you on the right track. Above all – have fun with your communication and grow in this relationship together! Look for more marriage moments soon.
It all starts with good communication! It seems so elementary, so why not give it a try? Good communication is the key in 90% of happily married couples (National Survey on Marital Strengths by David H. Olson & Amy K. Olson-Sigg (2000).) When you experience times in your marriage where things don’t seem to be connecting with your spouse there is a communication break-down. The simply steps are to 1.) sit down (after cooling down.) 2.) state your thoughts and feelings in a condense version. 3.) have your spouse repeat back to you EXACTLY what you said. If your spouse can do this without summarizing what they “know you really mean when you say _________” then you are on your way to healthy communication. If your spouse cannot accurately summarize what you said and meant then the communication problem has surfaced its ugly head! You might need to bring in a third party to help mediate through the steps to get you on the right track. Above all – have fun with your communication and grow in this relationship together! Look for more marriage moments soon.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Son Rock Kids Camp
Wow! We just had a great week of V.B.S. I don't think I have EVER yelled that much in my life for one straight week! I was on a teaching team that was basically a drama team. I played the part of someone who yelled everyday. We repeat each skit 5 times a day. So 20x I was an idiot - all for the sake of Jesus. Many would say I have played that part everyday of my life - I'll take that - proudly. We also raised money for a sponsor child through Compassion. Our goal was $500 and we raised $750. It was a competition of boys vs. girls. Guess who was the sponsor for the boys!!! (I will try to get a picture of the pie in the face I took when on the last day the grand total was boys - $349.?? while the girls raised $400.??) The pie was not tasty since it was made of whipped cream mustard and relish (I hate relish and mustard - why relish and mustard.) But the deed is done! Praise God for opportunities to live for HIM in the most unlikely thought of ways!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Rescued!!!
Okay, here's my question...have you ever been rescued? I have needed to be rescued 3 times in my life!
One time was back around 1998-1999? I was at a hotel in Stillwater, OK for a O.C.Y.C. (Oklahoma Christian Youth Convention). My buddy and I were about to get on the elevator when we noticed the sign read "MAXIMUM OCCUPANCY 16". When we were about number 18 & 19 we asked ourselves the question...Should we wait for the elevator to come back? Naaaauuuuggghhhh!!! So we jumped on! Full of teens and us the elevator door closed and started to slowly move (and I mean slowly!) up. It reached about half-way to the second floor and stopped while a siren went off (signaling to the manager the elevator was stuck). We needed rescued in a very humorous way!!1
The next time I needed to be rescued was in August of 2001! I was traveling through the town of Parsons, KS and we had stopped at a convenience store for a bthroom break and drink! I went to the bathroom and locked the door (it was a 'one-at-a-time' bathroom) When it was time to open the door and walk out, the door was stuck!!! I was in a panicky need of being rescued!
But the first time I needed rescued was the day I was brought in to this world. NO, there is no tragic story of how I almost died because of delivery complications. But this is the story of how I almost died and spent eternity in the wrong place had I not been rescued! The weird thing is that I was rescued before I was ever born! (Figure that out!) God knew my state before I was in it! God sent the Rescuer - Jesus Christ to reach down (from the cross) and pick me up from the sesspool I was in. The sesspool known as this 'present evil age'! (Check out Galatians 1:4!)
Praise, Glory and Honor to the King at rescuing people!
One time was back around 1998-1999? I was at a hotel in Stillwater, OK for a O.C.Y.C. (Oklahoma Christian Youth Convention). My buddy and I were about to get on the elevator when we noticed the sign read "MAXIMUM OCCUPANCY 16". When we were about number 18 & 19 we asked ourselves the question...Should we wait for the elevator to come back? Naaaauuuuggghhhh!!! So we jumped on! Full of teens and us the elevator door closed and started to slowly move (and I mean slowly!) up. It reached about half-way to the second floor and stopped while a siren went off (signaling to the manager the elevator was stuck). We needed rescued in a very humorous way!!1
The next time I needed to be rescued was in August of 2001! I was traveling through the town of Parsons, KS and we had stopped at a convenience store for a bthroom break and drink! I went to the bathroom and locked the door (it was a 'one-at-a-time' bathroom) When it was time to open the door and walk out, the door was stuck!!! I was in a panicky need of being rescued!
But the first time I needed rescued was the day I was brought in to this world. NO, there is no tragic story of how I almost died because of delivery complications. But this is the story of how I almost died and spent eternity in the wrong place had I not been rescued! The weird thing is that I was rescued before I was ever born! (Figure that out!) God knew my state before I was in it! God sent the Rescuer - Jesus Christ to reach down (from the cross) and pick me up from the sesspool I was in. The sesspool known as this 'present evil age'! (Check out Galatians 1:4!)
Praise, Glory and Honor to the King at rescuing people!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
What is God doing to me?
I think a common blog post beginning has to be: "I am sorry it has been so long since I posted!" So since it is probably the most common, I am not going to start that way...
I truly feel as though God has been placing in my path many things to convict and challenge my Christianity. I don't think I am headed for Hell or anything, but I do believe that I have been raised with a misconception about life with Jesus. Let me update you on what I have been reading. I have in the last two months read "Crazy Love, by Francis Chan" (a must read for everyone beleiver), and 'The Present Future" (another great read for those frustrated with Christianity as we know of it today - but caution...it is disturbing! True, but disturbing!) I am also reading "Preaching from my Feet" (a great challenge for all who preach - I recommend it as well!) Along with all of that I am reading "One Month to Live" while the church where I serve is preparing to spend 6 weeks going through this together beginning in September. All this to say, I am convinced that the church needs a over-haul, make-over, and a bath!
While I don't question my relationship with God to be genuine or not, I do question the church's misunderstanding of what the Church is to be about. We seem to have forgotten HIS purpose for the Church and have turned it into "my" church. I am so sick of hearing people complain because their comfort level is disturbed because of changes. HELLO! It was never your church to begin with. God wants it back! I challenge you to read these books mentioned and tell me your thoughts on the subject. I wonder if I am alone? Is anyone else bothered by what we call church? Is anyone else seeking to live as if Jesus did die for them too? I have resolved to live differently. I seek to no longer live as I have and I am expecting the true followers to stand up too! There is much to do and so little time. To GOD be the glory! Amen.
I truly feel as though God has been placing in my path many things to convict and challenge my Christianity. I don't think I am headed for Hell or anything, but I do believe that I have been raised with a misconception about life with Jesus. Let me update you on what I have been reading. I have in the last two months read "Crazy Love, by Francis Chan" (a must read for everyone beleiver), and 'The Present Future" (another great read for those frustrated with Christianity as we know of it today - but caution...it is disturbing! True, but disturbing!) I am also reading "Preaching from my Feet" (a great challenge for all who preach - I recommend it as well!) Along with all of that I am reading "One Month to Live" while the church where I serve is preparing to spend 6 weeks going through this together beginning in September. All this to say, I am convinced that the church needs a over-haul, make-over, and a bath!
While I don't question my relationship with God to be genuine or not, I do question the church's misunderstanding of what the Church is to be about. We seem to have forgotten HIS purpose for the Church and have turned it into "my" church. I am so sick of hearing people complain because their comfort level is disturbed because of changes. HELLO! It was never your church to begin with. God wants it back! I challenge you to read these books mentioned and tell me your thoughts on the subject. I wonder if I am alone? Is anyone else bothered by what we call church? Is anyone else seeking to live as if Jesus did die for them too? I have resolved to live differently. I seek to no longer live as I have and I am expecting the true followers to stand up too! There is much to do and so little time. To GOD be the glory! Amen.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Crazy Love book
How many blog posts start with, 'I know I haven't updated in a while...sorry...'? This is one of those blogs...
I have been reading the book 'Crazy Love' by Francis Chan. I got to tell you - I love it. Why is it that we read something that should be simple truths to believers and yet we find it profound. This is the first book I have ever known to have a online video intro. to each chapter. This I believe is very cool! I guess what impresses me most is the humble attitude that comes across in his (Francis) approach to life with God. He sends a message that he is just like me - I don't know about you, but I connect to that. If you get a chance check out his book and website. www.crazylovebook.com - I think you will enjoy it immensely!
On another note, I feel like God has really been preparing me for something lately. I am not sure what it is, but I have been drawn to pray for guidance more and more in my role as a pastor/preacher/leader! Who knows what God has in store? But I am excited about the journey that's coming!
I have been reading the book 'Crazy Love' by Francis Chan. I got to tell you - I love it. Why is it that we read something that should be simple truths to believers and yet we find it profound. This is the first book I have ever known to have a online video intro. to each chapter. This I believe is very cool! I guess what impresses me most is the humble attitude that comes across in his (Francis) approach to life with God. He sends a message that he is just like me - I don't know about you, but I connect to that. If you get a chance check out his book and website. www.crazylovebook.com - I think you will enjoy it immensely!
On another note, I feel like God has really been preparing me for something lately. I am not sure what it is, but I have been drawn to pray for guidance more and more in my role as a pastor/preacher/leader! Who knows what God has in store? But I am excited about the journey that's coming!
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