Temptations, they are everywhere. How in the world can I avoid them? Why in the world would I want to avoid them? And is it possible to avoid temptations or is it a worthless fight? When it comes to my marriage it is very important to know whether or not I can resist. The world around you and I, tries to convince us that the lie is true. What lie? The lie that says, I am just like an animal. The lie that says, I cannot resist temptations that come before me especially the temptations against my marriage. Basically, the lie says that I cannot resist the temptation to have an affair (After all, I am just a link in the evolutionary chain, right? No, my uncle was not a monkey.)
Maybe the temptation comes in the form of sharing. You find yourself sharing more and more with a person other than your spouse? That sharing time becomes more and more intimate also. Maybe the temptation is in the form of time. You find yourself wanting more and more time alone with someone other than your spouse. During this time alone you find enjoyment so much so that you don’t want to be with your spouse. Maybe the temptation seems to have appeared before you and you know that you did not seek it out but it is there before you. And now this temptation has become an option to you. Maybe the temptation is in the form of revenge. You find yourself wanting to get back at your spouse for not giving you what you believe you deserve. So you find that you are at a place of seeking out something that will devastate your marriage. Whatever the temptation might be, it is there and it is real.
So how do I fight and resist the temptations that wage war on my marriage. I believe there are at least two obvious things that are clearly defined in the Bible that I can do to fight off temptations. One: Resist through submission! The bible tells us in James 4:7 (NIV) to “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” Two: When Jesus was tempted by Satan, the Bible tells us that Jesus quoted the Bible right back at Satan to defeat his purposes [See Matthew 4:1-11]. But the key is you have to have the Bible in your heart and mind to do this! Are you having difficulty with temptations? Why not try God’s way? Need to learn more about what the Bible says? Why not try out First Christian Church? We’d love to have you join us!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Marriage Moment #6 - Selfishness
Cats just aren’t right! Have you ever really observed a cat? Cats are focused solely on themselves. The only time they come around is when they want something – typically food. Cats never show up just to be there for you. Cats think they own the world. Now I must admit I do own a cat, but the cat thinks he owns me! My cat tells me when he is hungry. In fact he doesn’t just tell me, truth is he won’t shut up until he is fed. Cats often distance themselves until they want food! I will admit cats do keep the mice away. Sometimes my cat is a pain in the neck, but I still feed and care for the cat. Why do I put up with the cat? I guess the answer is because my kids love the cat. Okay, and because he keeps the mice and rats away!
Is your marriage similar to what I just described (take out the word ‘cat’ and replace it with ‘my spouse)? If so, you must act now! A marriage that is living out this scenario will ‘simply exist’ or ‘miserably fail’ unless something is done. CAUTION: There is a problem. The problem is that typically cats only know they exist; and they don’t realize that a problem exists. They especially don’t realize that they are the problem! Cats believe they are the only or the important ingredient in the relationship. They believe that everyone is blessed to know and be next to them!
This creates major issues. Often the only way a cat (a.k.a. – your spouse) finds out there is a problem is when a blow up occurs. The healthy thing IS NOT to blow up at your spouse, but to help them see things from a different perspective. King David was confronted with his inappropriate relationship with Bathsheba through a story told by a trusted friend, Nathan the prophet. (You can check out the story in 2 Samuel 12:1-7) Remember; don’t call your spouse a ‘selfish cat’. Don’t attack! Love your spouse through this difficult situation and couple love with patience! Most importantly run to God for guidance and support HE is after all the creator of both marriage and cats. Why not also get support from a loving church family? Why not join us this Sunday?
Is your marriage similar to what I just described (take out the word ‘cat’ and replace it with ‘my spouse)? If so, you must act now! A marriage that is living out this scenario will ‘simply exist’ or ‘miserably fail’ unless something is done. CAUTION: There is a problem. The problem is that typically cats only know they exist; and they don’t realize that a problem exists. They especially don’t realize that they are the problem! Cats believe they are the only or the important ingredient in the relationship. They believe that everyone is blessed to know and be next to them!
This creates major issues. Often the only way a cat (a.k.a. – your spouse) finds out there is a problem is when a blow up occurs. The healthy thing IS NOT to blow up at your spouse, but to help them see things from a different perspective. King David was confronted with his inappropriate relationship with Bathsheba through a story told by a trusted friend, Nathan the prophet. (You can check out the story in 2 Samuel 12:1-7) Remember; don’t call your spouse a ‘selfish cat’. Don’t attack! Love your spouse through this difficult situation and couple love with patience! Most importantly run to God for guidance and support HE is after all the creator of both marriage and cats. Why not also get support from a loving church family? Why not join us this Sunday?
Marriage Moment #5 - Faithfulness
Dogs are incredibly faithful! You just have to love them for their delight in you. It can’t help but bring a smile to your face. When you arrive at your home after a long day, they can’t contain their excitement. For that matter, you can be gone for only 5 minutes and the response is still the same! They are very glad to see you – no matter what. Why? All you do is pet the dog occasionally, feed the dog regularly, but other than that you don’t give the dog much more. Why do dogs still get so excited to see you? ANSWER: because they aren’t human!
In our marriages we want, we long for; we yearn to have our spouse have this same excitement because we simply show up! Basically, we expect our spouses to behave like dogs – full of excitement simply because we are who we are. But there is a problem! Our spouse doesn’t ‘wag’ his/her tail when they see us after we’ve been gone. Why doesn’t he/she wag her tail after we’ve been gone? ANSWER: because he/she is NOT a dog!
So how can I build a home where it seems like my spouse loves me as much as my dog if not more? I promise you it won’t happen if you treat your spouse like a dog and simply feed him/her and pet him/her occasionally. It requires a commitment to doing and becoming what your spouse needs you to be. Husbands, for us, it is being the one who treats our wives with an enduring unconditional love. It is the main ingredient that most wives need in order to thrive in a relationship. Wives, for all of you, it is being the ones who treat your husband with unconditional respect. This is the main ingredient that most husbands need in order to thrive in a relationship. The Bible commands that the wife respect her husband and for the husband to love the wife. (See Ephesians 5:33)
For more information on this idea check out “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs or better yet, why not come and grow in your marriage with us at First Christian Church!
In our marriages we want, we long for; we yearn to have our spouse have this same excitement because we simply show up! Basically, we expect our spouses to behave like dogs – full of excitement simply because we are who we are. But there is a problem! Our spouse doesn’t ‘wag’ his/her tail when they see us after we’ve been gone. Why doesn’t he/she wag her tail after we’ve been gone? ANSWER: because he/she is NOT a dog!
So how can I build a home where it seems like my spouse loves me as much as my dog if not more? I promise you it won’t happen if you treat your spouse like a dog and simply feed him/her and pet him/her occasionally. It requires a commitment to doing and becoming what your spouse needs you to be. Husbands, for us, it is being the one who treats our wives with an enduring unconditional love. It is the main ingredient that most wives need in order to thrive in a relationship. Wives, for all of you, it is being the ones who treat your husband with unconditional respect. This is the main ingredient that most husbands need in order to thrive in a relationship. The Bible commands that the wife respect her husband and for the husband to love the wife. (See Ephesians 5:33)
For more information on this idea check out “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs or better yet, why not come and grow in your marriage with us at First Christian Church!
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